Last week I closed out the school year a little differently, with a heavier heart. This was my last year teaching in this state, and I’m happy to have ended it with middle schoolers.  They are hilarious. They’ve helped me love and remember my inner teen.  I love a questioning, sarcastic individual.  And middle schools have ‘em in spades. 

As you may be used to hearing by now, my exit is due to the unsustainable exhaustion that teaching can have on people, especially when you have kids.  I don’t know how teachers with kids do this for so long; they are heroes and deserve the utmost respect.  Please remember this.  Or sub for a few days and see it for yourselves.  Maybe more people will see what those of us leaving do.  We are in a critical moment in education. The state of it affects each of us, whether you have children or not.  

There are changes that need to be made in education and we scream them from the rooftops to no avail so my conclusion finally, is what I’ve always feared: the flaws, the discrepancies… are ignored at least and intentional at worst.  Are we collectively lacking the bravery and creative understanding to change it? What does it say about our country that areas within it make education a struggle and not a joy?

I have put so much into this career, and I hold so much love for the schools I’ve been a part of.  At this point, by and large the system must be undeniably aware that it allows the exploitation of our time, our energy, and our care; simultaneously not deferring to us as professional experts.  It’s like any other systemic issue in that way; it keeps plodding along as it is, not asking the people it needs to ask, the important questions; not following through with meaningful change – or doing it incredibly slowly.  

We have bigger issues to solve than their test scores. This excessive pouring over scores. The kids are human.  The all-too-often unreliable, irrelevant numbers on a sheet do not come close to reflecting the most key information.  I don’t look at myself through a numerical lens and I suppose it’s not how I want to spend time looking at others.  There are more personal needs to focus on.  There are things a school cannot fix.  There are things that need to start in the home. Respect starts at home. An appreciation for learning starts at home.  There are people in those homes who need help.  This is a society problem.  

I hope we vote for leaders who are concerned about the state of it.  I hope teachers and parents figure it out together as humans, with human needs, not as mouthpieces for their political parties.  That’s the only way forward.  Although I’ve had the occasional difficult parent, I’m so done with the tired narrative that parents and teachers are against each other.  It’s harmful, and we’re actually not when it comes down to it.  

And what of the kids?  I’ve learned this: the kids just want adults to see them, they want adults to care.  And they’d be more invested in school if it was constructed with them in mind. 

I will miss them.  I will miss my coworkers who get it and who are there for all the beautiful reasons.  

A bittersweet goodbye ✌🏻